Searching....

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure.

-Kal Menninger

I have to say that I am in agreement with Kal. Steve's leaving has left a hole in our family. We all feel it. The kids ask for him, I look for him at night- before I realize that-OH- he's not here. I am so glad that he will return in December but I am finding myself looking at our current situation and wondering if I can survive. We are okay financially (I mean- not any worse off I should say, lol- when are you ever financially sound with 6 kids in the house???) but it is the toll that this is taking on all of us emotionally and mentally. I am exhausted. Bone tired. Like hire a babysitter so I can take a nap tired. Like sit and cry when someone tells you that you have toilet paper stuck to your foot tired. Yeah, like the kind of tired where you start crying and you can't stop. I have a feeling that I may be suffering from a touch of depression. And, I am stressed. Today was the day to hand out report cards to my little classroom full of angels, Nicole and I are handling fundraisers for our 4th grade field trip (by the way if you would like to sponsor a child or help offset the cost of a child that cannot afford to go-please email to ask how you can help), today was a take Sophie to the doctor day, and I have lots of schoolwork still left to do. AND tomorrow is Halloween- so I will have all the kids ALL weekend long. Yep, no rest for the weary. I know this is going to sound weird- and Kelly and Nicole I am not talking anything serious here so don't get worried- but I kind of understand how people must feel when they are facing a nervous breakdown. I am overburdened and underfunded. So, the whole reason for this great, upbeat post was to say that I have a list of things that I would like to do. To solve my unrest of spirit, like my buddy Kal up there said. Not right now, not even in the immediate future, but I WOULD like to get them done eventually. Drum roll please, for the unveiling of my To-Do List:

1. Clean my house (needs to be more immediate than not)

2. Organize my house (for anyone that is thinking of a gift- how does one go about find an organizational specialist?)

3. Clean out my garage

4. Clean out my closet

5. Take some pictures of the kids

6. Spend time with my husband

7. Go to a movie by myself (I know that you may be puzzled by my choice- but there is a great anonymity to going to a movie by yourself- allowing you to really BE alone- make friends with yourself and go sometime).

8. Pre-cook some meals on the weekend so that my life will be easier through the week.

9. Paint the basement

10. Work on my front yard some more.

I wish I could get it all done. Someday I will. I am promising myself!