Happy Halloween!

Halloween 2008 Blog2

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I would like to say that this didn't take me a long time to figure out, because I am supposed to be fairly quick about these things....but that would be a lie. Although this took me longer than waiting on them all to print out, I hope you enjoy! We had a lot of fun tonight, and are all thoroughly exhausted!

Searching....

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure.

-Kal Menninger

I have to say that I am in agreement with Kal. Steve's leaving has left a hole in our family. We all feel it. The kids ask for him, I look for him at night- before I realize that-OH- he's not here. I am so glad that he will return in December but I am finding myself looking at our current situation and wondering if I can survive. We are okay financially (I mean- not any worse off I should say, lol- when are you ever financially sound with 6 kids in the house???) but it is the toll that this is taking on all of us emotionally and mentally. I am exhausted. Bone tired. Like hire a babysitter so I can take a nap tired. Like sit and cry when someone tells you that you have toilet paper stuck to your foot tired. Yeah, like the kind of tired where you start crying and you can't stop. I have a feeling that I may be suffering from a touch of depression. And, I am stressed. Today was the day to hand out report cards to my little classroom full of angels, Nicole and I are handling fundraisers for our 4th grade field trip (by the way if you would like to sponsor a child or help offset the cost of a child that cannot afford to go-please email to ask how you can help), today was a take Sophie to the doctor day, and I have lots of schoolwork still left to do. AND tomorrow is Halloween- so I will have all the kids ALL weekend long. Yep, no rest for the weary. I know this is going to sound weird- and Kelly and Nicole I am not talking anything serious here so don't get worried- but I kind of understand how people must feel when they are facing a nervous breakdown. I am overburdened and underfunded. So, the whole reason for this great, upbeat post was to say that I have a list of things that I would like to do. To solve my unrest of spirit, like my buddy Kal up there said. Not right now, not even in the immediate future, but I WOULD like to get them done eventually. Drum roll please, for the unveiling of my To-Do List:

1. Clean my house (needs to be more immediate than not)

2. Organize my house (for anyone that is thinking of a gift- how does one go about find an organizational specialist?)

3. Clean out my garage

4. Clean out my closet

5. Take some pictures of the kids

6. Spend time with my husband

7. Go to a movie by myself (I know that you may be puzzled by my choice- but there is a great anonymity to going to a movie by yourself- allowing you to really BE alone- make friends with yourself and go sometime).

8. Pre-cook some meals on the weekend so that my life will be easier through the week.

9. Paint the basement

10. Work on my front yard some more.

I wish I could get it all done. Someday I will. I am promising myself!

Stick it to the man-eosis

You may have seen "School of Rock" and if you have- you will get the title. I have been trying to follow the CVS deals and see what I can get for a little amount. Today, I spent about 40 bucks out of pocket, have 10 extra care bucks for next week, and saved over 400 dollars!!!! Isn't that great?

I am here.

" I believe in the sun even when it is not shining...in love even when I am alone...and in God even when He is silent."

-inscription found scatched into a wall in Germany, by someone hiding from Nazi concentration camps

I know that I haven't blogged much this week, and when I have written, it has been to whine and complain about how much I miss Steve. Which-don't get me wrong- I do. But, I found this quote when I was browsing other blogs anonymously (isn't the internet great for faceless lurking?) and thought about how true this is and how it applies to me. Through so much of life's turmoil, and believe me when I say that I have often seen my fair share, I have always believed that God was there- even if I couldn't hear his voice. For the past week I have felt as if I was slipping down a dark and slippery slope of despair because so many things were heaped upon my shoulders. My sister often wonders why I do not worry the way she and the rest of my siblings (and father) worry over every little thing. For one- I do not have the energy- I worry about enough every day just by getting out of the bed, making sure the kids get to school with everything they need, I get to school with everything I need, and that we have the necessities to get by. This is no small feat in our household. And often I find myself saying "I am sorry" because I have forgotten something or it has been misplaced. But in the second place is the fact that the Bible demands us to place our worries at the feet of Jesus. I often find myself thinking about this and know that it is one small thing that gives me the most comfort- that Jesus will carry my worries. My worries over Steve in a foreign land with no one to care for him, for Sophie with her mysterious back pain, for Savannah with her allergies, me with my constant infections- I am reminded that it is prideful to carry these when I am told that HE will take care of it. And the above inscription reminded me that Steve doesn't have to be present for me to know that he loves me and that I love him. We will be fine, he will return, and I don't have to worry.

This week has been a week full of ups and downs. I have been so busy that I haven't had time to think, really. During the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday, Sophie woke up complaining of back pain and crying that her leg hurt. Now, I am going to preface this the exact way that I prefaced it to the doctor when she asked me exactly how long she had complained about this- I sound like a really crappy mom. Sophie has been complaining about her back hurting for MONTHS- but I blew it off as her copying the kids or Steve when they say that something is hurting them. BUT- it has never caused her to wake from a sleep before and it has usually gone away pretty quickly. As soon as it woke her up in the night and she was complaining of her leg too I realized that I needed to make a doctor's appointment. So make one I did. Then, they wanted to get a urine specimen to rule out any urinary tract infections. Try that one with a three year old. She peed in the cup once at the doctors office-just enough to get a trace of some white blood cells, but they wanted more for a culture. So they sent us home with a specimen cup and wanting us to try for more. It is amazing that as smart as she is- we can't get her to pee in the cup again. She is bartering for more candy everytime we try to get her to pee in the cup- she is a con-artist, I think.

Today, Carmie, my mom, and myself took off to the Carolinas Foothills Artisan Center for an art show. As I am saying this, I want to remind you that it is in Chesnee, so we can be excused for some of our snobbery- but it was actually pretty fun. We thought that a lot of "locals" would be there and that it might just be some whittled wood (which, mind you, can be beautiful)- but it turned out to have some beautiful paintings and wonderful pottery pieces. The artists who were there today were good for a laugh or two. We thought there was an awful big crowd there for the little place but upon closer inspection we noticed that almost everyone there had been featured in one painting or another. Some paintings, often of planes or war scenes, were quite good- while others (such as The Death of Tarzan, or some pterodactyl piece with a topless woman) caused us to giggle like schoolgirls. It was fun, overall, and it was free. We also got to walk down to Watson's Furniture where I got to ogle some of the furniture and appliances there (if you have never been- they really have some of the most beautiful furniture in the area). I found a 7500$ KitchenAid 8 burner range that would be perfect for our family (you should see what it takes to cook on four burners with this family) but because of the size of our family I do not have the money to spend 7500 bucks on a range. Oh well, maybe next year (the way the economy is looking- maybe in the next ten years).

Monday, Monday....

Mondays are uncertain. There never seems to be any continuity with these blasted first days of the work week. Some weeks, I love Monday- it seems to be full of promise. Then on other weeks, it just seems to be a blah day that is not very inspiring. I find that to be the case today. Today was a teacher workday at school, and I really wanted to get a lot of work done. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to quite work that way. I helped some with the postermaker, worked some on professional goals and such, did a little grading, and then I had to take a trip to the district office. In Greenville, it is not such an easy thing to do, just drive to the district office. There is no simple way to get there, and of course, there was a wreck on Haywood Rd. just as I was nearing the 385 entrance ramp. So Monday wasn't quite my day. I was able to work in the yard, planted some bulbs for Spring, and I got the blasted bush that I have tried to remove for the past few weeks out of the ground! I also bought a flag pole and U.S. Flag this past weekend, and put it up today (it is one of those easy ones that screws into the wood on the porch). So we look appropriately patriotic now! I am trying to keep busy, and with working in the yard and taking the girls to soccer practice I believe I accomplished my goal. I have the daunting task now to clean the house. It is unbelievable, how unorganized it is. I have had no help for awhile now and I find myself overwhemed by this. I would say one room a day, but with all the kids that is just the rate that they like to undo what you have done! I wish that I had the do-re-mi to hire someone to do it- wouldn't that be nice?

Steve emailed today to let me know that he has arrived safely (what an oxymoron) in Afghanistan and they put him right to work! He gave me his address so that we could send cards and such through the mail. I have got to get his care package in the mail, now! If anyone finds themselves with a little time and would like to send him a note, card, or some cookies (sugar are his favorite!) his address is:

Steven Blanton

455EAMXZ/C130AMU

APO AE,09354

I am now going to try to write him his daily letter (I did this last time- hope I can keep it up this time!). Hope your Monday was more inspiring than mine!

Silence is golden...

A picture of fall for you. I love fall, when the leaves are beginning to turn and the air feels crisp, like today. I really wanted to take the kids hiking today, but alas- it was not to be. I got up this morning with exhaustion clouding my vision and Sophie's dad ringing the doorbell. At 8, yes that was right- 8 a.m, I was opened the door to find Sophie's father handing her over the threshold and then him trying to chitchat with me. I went to bed at 2 a.m. this morning. Chitchat held NO appeal. I think I may have closed the door rather hastily, but I can excuse that due to my morning malaise. I then checked my email to find an email from Steve. I have to say that I am beginning to discover that there are different stages of emotions when you have a spouse deployed. I am sure that it is the same for the children, but they may not be aware of the changing of their feelings, nor a way to voice them. This afternoon, I was playing mediator between Devin and Alex (for those of you who know these children- this is NOT unusual) when I finally just cut it short and told them to both go take a shower, calm down, and watch some t.v. As I was walking through the living room a few minutes later Devin was sitting on the couch looking rather forlorn so I decided to sit beside him and talk to him for a second. When I sat down beside him he began to cry softly, and I asked him what was wrong. He would not utter a sound, until I asked him if he missed his father. He started crying harder and all he could do was shake his head up and down. And then I was mad. Mad for being left alone, mad for the kids- that they have to feel this way- why can't someone else be there? Why does Steve have to put himself there when he could retire? Just plain mad. Devin's crying pushed me over the edge. Then Sophie proceeded to have a meltdown that sent her from being a sweet three year old to a raving miniature lunatic throwing things and screaming at everyone. Literally. In fact, I may be downplaying the whole even just slightly. She started kicking Savannah, so I made her sit for a few minutes on the floor, where she began to yell at me. As Sophia on Golden Girls would say: Picture it: I get up and put her in the next room, she crawls towards the couch, screaming, and throwing the shoes by the front door. I grab the shoe, spank her, and place her back in the other room. THEN she begins to scream and chases Savannah and Caitlin as they walk past. I take the higher moral road here, and ignore her. Then she begins screaming with such evilness I take her, spank her again, and place her back in the other room. After a couple of minutes she decides to take herself to her room where she stays for about ten minutes until she comes downstairs, tells me sweetly that she is hungry and wants some yogurt, and then proceeds to act normal. What just happened? I feel like I was in the twilight zone.

I am ready for him to be home and I am pissed off that he is away. Anybody understand this- wanna help me out with why I feel this way?

A phone call away....

How does one go about calling Romania? That is what entered my mind when I read Steve's email tonight as I signed on to my email account. I was frantically looking up the information on google, actually feeling a panic attack coming on. Thoughts flooded my mind, making me feel as if I was not going to be able to talk to my husband after not hearing from him since Wednesday night. Now, I know that some of you would love the fact that you wouldn't be able to talk to your husbands every night. You know who you are. Those of you who thank the dear Lord that he gave your husband a job where he must travel, because you know that is the ONLY reason that you can remained married. Yeah, not so much with me. Not that it wasn't that way with my other marriage. Or maybe I should say marriages. Yeah, added the s. Makes me sound like the redneck hillbilly, I know. But it is the truth, and so it may very well set me free one day! Anyways, I still hate to spend nights away from home (except our fun faculty retreat in Chucktown- anybody wanna know how to party- I can introduce you to the rowdiest crew I know- and they are ALL teachers!), and technically- we are still newlyweds. So we are still supposed to like one another. So THERE. ANYWAYS, back to my original story- Steve emailed me the name of the hotel where he was staying and his room number, so I was thinking that in that amount of time, he could have left, or he was probably asleep (I did not know the exact amount of hours that they are ahead- turns out it is 8). But the real moral of this whole darn blasted affair was that I was able to talk to my husband. And the kids were able to speak to their father- 5 of them, anyway. Sophie is at her dad's. The kids were so happy to speak to him, and were asking him tons of questions. It sounded as if they were firing volleying shots- Steve asking a question, then the kids asking a question. Round after round. I am not sure what Charter charges for international rates, but we were on the phone for over twenty minutes. I don't care, though, it was worth every penny!

All of the children have really been into the concept of making Steve a care package to send to him. We have gotten some things to place in the package, but one thing that we wanted to include were cards from the kids. I am not sure about you, but one can go broke buying cards from the store. So we came up with the idea that we would purchase the products for the children to make some homemade cards for him. Tonight, after supper, we sat around the kitchen table and worked on our cards for quite a while. John, Sharon, Matthew, and Cole all joined in (my best friend and neighbor, her hubby and their two children). It was a lot of fun, and gave them a constructive way to deal with their feelings of missing their dad. I would show you some pictures but Steve has been reading my blog, and I don't want him to view them on here before he actually receives them in person! We also have a surprise for him, that the whole family decided upon, which I think he will LOVE. I will tell you that surprise when he actually gets it!

Now, since you are reading my blog, it is obvious that you most likely keep up with it. Probably you know me and are just reading this to be nice and not because of my OBVIOUS lack of perfect writing skills and witty repertoire. BUT, in case you are wanting another blog to feel obligated to follow, you can now read Steve's blog here. He started the blog when he went to Afghanistan in 2007, and will now continue with his lovely adventures there in the yucky mud.

I am off to try to get some rest now.....it is hard to relax at night with him not here- just haven't gotten used to it yet. Not something that I ever wanted to get accustomed to, but one of those things in life that you do not because you want to, but because you HAVE to!

The price of freedom....

As most of you know, today was D-Day in our home. Deployment Day is so hard on the kids. I didn't exactly know what to expect because this was Steve's first deployment to a combat zone since we have been married. He went to Bagram in February 2007, but we were dating and his kids and I didn't have quite the same relationship that we do now. If you hear a politician talking about the price of freedom I have to tell you that the real price lies not in the economic toll, but in the hardship it entails upon the families and loved ones of all those serving. I watched today as my children cried because their father and stepfather was leaving to fight in a war that they don't understand and a land that they have never heard of until now. The day was rushed because they bumped Steve's flight up an hour, and didn't bother to tell them until we had dropped him off for his briefing. I have ambivalent feelings for Steve's involvement in the military. On one hand I love that he has the sense of pride and honor that drives him to feel that it is his duty. BUT, on the other hand, I hate that he leaves us for this time and that the military takes him away from us. The kids asked him today when he was going to retire. I personally wish it was soon, but I believe that he has at least another four years. If not then, I am not sure he will ever retire! I will get off of my soapbox now, and here are some pictures from today....beware, some of them are sad!

From Steve Leaving 102008

Welcome to our world!

I would like for you to meet my great-nephew Logan Charles. He was born on Friday afternoon around 4:30 p.m. He is the newborn son of my niece Caitlin (my oldest sister Carmie's daughter). The little bug weighted in at 5lbs. and 11 oz. How tiny is he? (And he was full term....my kids were ginormous!) I have seen him in person and can tell you he is every bit as beautiful as he is in this picture! I am so excited to have another baby around (I absolutely adore holding babies and the best thing about this baby is that he can be given back!) :) I can't wait to be able to keep him for a little while so his mom can have a break!

A little something to share....

Mom and Abby
Sophie at breakfast
Sophie looking tough at Kids on Guard (I think she was wanting to scare the other kids...haha)
Mom and Sophie after reading The Kissing Hand
Sophie playing her instrument on the way to get her lunch!

I had these pictures from the Kids on Guard weekend. I am sorry that they are all of Sophie and myself, but I had to stay with her the whole day, so I was unable to get shots of anyone else. Of course, the photo on top was of Abby and myself (she wanted to take a picture of us together). I loved these and wanted to share them with you!

The Countdown has Started....

Today is the start of Steve's official countdown to deployment. He will be deployed to Afghanistan for 60 days. I am so lucky that I married a man that is in the Air National Guard. There are so many families that have been separated for a much longer time, but I must say that it doesn't mean that it makes it any easier. I have separation anxiety (don't believe me- ask my mom!) and the thought of him being away for that long takes my breath. But, I will get through this. Days will turn into weeks, and then before I know it two months will have gone by and on December 5 we will get to pick him up when he returns!

This past weekend the children attended Kids on Guard. Alex, Savannah, Devin, and Caitlin all got to take a flight on a small plane, while Sophie and Abby got to do lots of fun activities geared for their age. The day was filled with tons of activites, and the Carolina Panthers actually sent their Jr. Training Camp and gave the kids t-shirts and water bottles. They gifted the Air Guard Members with a special NFL/Panthers challenge coin. If you know anyone in the service, they love collecting challenge coins! They gave bookbags to each child, and they were filled with items from donated from different companies. Sophie had a few critical moments when she was terrified of the Honor Guard, but other than that, it was something they will all remember fondly! ;)

Playing Catchup.....

So much has happened lately that I have had a hard time posting a lot of news. So here is a short synopsis of our last couple of weeks:

• I was released from the surgeon's care yesterday! My leg is completely healed and I have no need to see him again. Although he is most excellent (Dr. Richard Reinhardt if you are in the Spartanburg area and need a general surgeon....)!
• I took Savannah to the allergist yesterday for a checkup. (We usually go during allergy season to make sure everything is okay.) I am always a little worried that her lung function is not going to be good- but God smacked me upside the head with some good news yesterday. Savannah's lung output was 96%! To give you some figures to compare, at 6, on her first visit, her lung output was 64%. Last year we peaked at 78%. And now, she is at 96%! This does not mean that she does not have asthma, but it does mean that we have it under control for the moment. I am sure that playing sports has helped tremendously, but I was still excited. An aside on this- I was wondering why we couldn't keep her in pants anymore (her legs keep getting longer)- she has grown 4 inches since last May! That is incredible!
• This weekend is Kids on Guard, where the children get to have a weekend of Air National Guard duty. There are tons of activities planned, but the most exciting one is that Devin, Caitlin, Savannah, and Alex are all going to be able to fly in an airplane. I think the weekend will be neat, they even issue the kids dogtags!
• Please pray for our family. We are starting the transition for Steve's deployment, and this is always hard. Sometimes the kids may act up, they are sad, and I am sad, too. He will be leaving on the 15th of October for a 60 day duty in Afghanistan. Please pray that the Lord will keep him safe and protect him, that he may return to our family in December!
• Progress reports came out! Some of you might not think that is such a traumatic event, but with 5 children in school, things are not always peachy keen. We had two events with Progress reports this time, one with Alex, and another with Devin. Alex was a hiccup- nothing to really be concerned about. Devin, on the other hand was a catastrophe. We have removed him from football for the rest of the year, so that he can concentrate on school instead of placing his focus on other things. This was such a difficult decision on Steve's part- mainly because he loves watching the kids play sports. He also knows how much Devin loves it. Hopefully we can get him caught up and everything will be a-okay for him to play baseball in the Spring.

That is about it for now. That I can remember, anyway! What has been going on with you out there in cyberspace?